Week31: Drop butter/add risks

This week, I am dropping butter and adding risks.

Well, I am not dropping butter completely. I have learned from my previous sugar experiments that I am better off trying to reduce my intake of unhealthy food than completely cut them out. It is also impractical for pathetically picky eaters to cut out a food that makes bearable one of the few foods they actually eat. Yes, I am one of those pathetically picky eaters. In fact, even the smell of many things is nauseating or makes my head hurt! For someone like me, there are so few (healthy) foods to choose from that often not-particularly-unhealthy foods are the best option I have. Therefore, foods like toast for breakfast or bread rolls for for lunch are common choices. But no salad sandwiches! Oh no! Salad?? Without juicy saladish ingredients, it falls to butter (or, in my case, a butter/canola oil blend) to prevent my bread or roll from being unbearably dry.

One of my weaknesses is having injudicious lashings of butter, and I know this is one area where I could halve my fat intake. I don’t think I’ll get myself down to hardly any butter. That would be like having dry bread! Mmm, dry and grainy… I will probably still have slightly more butter than I should. However, slightly more butter is better than twenty bazillion times more butter! You can’t argue with statistics like that!

Adding risks does not mean I will be jumping out of a plane or gambling thousands of dollars at the casino every day. It is really about the risk of failure, of things going badly, or of discomfort. It’s about being brave and doing all those tasks, jobs and activities that I make excuses about, big and small. It is not always the big things that hold us back. Quite often, it is the more everyday tasks and challenges that we avoid that stop us being the best version of ourselves.

Every week, even most days, there are things I avoid because they may not turn out perfectly. I avoid exercise because I may get rained on, I avoid making a phonecall because I might say something stupid, I avoid an activity because somebody might question it, I don’t apply for something because I might not get it – or worse, I might get it and then actually have to do it! There are many things that I miss out on or do not do for myself merely because I might experience some discomfort, I might feel a little foolish, or perhaps I won’t finish. My life seems to have been filled with things I didn’t do because I was scared of failing, or things I did do but was too self-critical of my performance.

I am not going to look for risks this week, but I am going to try to be aware of activities or tasks I am avoiding and stop making excuses. I will allow myself to fail and therefore allow myself to try. I will try to bravely accept the possibility of some kind of failure in order to give myself the chance of success.


About Zaiene

Life is large and I am small. Filled with over-complicated thoughts and little tendency towards action, this is me, doing the best I can right now.
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