Weekend 15 Review: With great study comes great floatability.

I find it peculiar that I have struggled with study all semester, but somehow making it part of Drop One/Add One for a weekend had me studying for up to three hours first thing on Saturday and Sunday. It’s all part of the psychological magic of this experiment! Perhaps it’s due to being accountable for my goals, as Dr Phil and other self-help gurus like to tell us. However, I feel that a greater contributing factor is my “project enthusiasm”, sustained by the affirmation of having a few people actually interested in my project. (I tend to get enthusiastic about ideas for various projects that I have and will devote a lot of my spare time, initially, to the project. Even if the project no more interesting than something I have to do, it will seem more exciting and inspiring. I suppose it’s a little like the difference between tidying the house because it’s messy and tidying the house because I want to rearrange the furniture. Somehow, the very act of tidying is so much more enjoyable, even though I always enjoy the cleanliness at the end.)

By breaking through this barrier I’ve had all semester, I feel as if I’m a little closer to the old study focus that I used to have before Mum died. It’s not that I’ve managed such wonderful study-starts for the rest of this week (although I did have a Magnificent Morning of Chores), but I felt so productive and proud to be getting study done that it has made me feel like doing more and therefore getting the same bouyant lightness that comes from feeling in control and completing tasks towards my goals.

Regular meditation has long been one of my wellbeing goals, one which I am currently trying to achieve in my own way. While I did stick to my aim of meditating – in fact, I did a few five-minute breathing meditations as study breaks, and ten-minute ones before bed – it’s still, for me, only a first step. Knowing how hard I find it to sustain new habits, I think that I will add different meditation goals every now and then to DO/AO to help keep me going and move me forward. It is important for me to pause and allow myself to rest and refocus, which the weekend meditations achieved, but ultimately I think I’d like meditation to be a much more integral part of my day and to use it to improve my psyschological health beyond merely pausing and relaxing. You know, like, I’d like it to help me, like, focus on positives and stuff!

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About Zaiene

Life is large and I am small. Filled with over-complicated thoughts and little tendency towards action, this is me, doing the best I can right now.
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